When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At first of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At present we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we will do if we’re occupied with a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however in the event you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other manner. For those who’re not ingesting through the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for a minimum of 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any thought how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes just a few weeks on your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see in the event you may make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you already know you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend numerous time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which results in numerous “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may need to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply turn into a part of your interior chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting had been stuffed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down each day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I don’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra conscious strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when occupied with alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of on the subject of speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you possibly can discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get trustworthy with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you may have solutions/suggestions for the best way to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting buddies? 

Krysty: You may want to search out new buddies – haha. However, severely, if your pals actually respect and help you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to start out ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definitely may must rethink who you’re spending time with. It is advisable work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely may want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m probably the most primary sober individual round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam